She Chose Me

There are times that we see… we read … or we hear that which can bring the sense of gloom, or possibly a new and clear revelation. One such reading came in September of 2010, only days after the death of my father. A story that is told of events which occurred some sixty-three years ago this month. For in January 1958, this story tells not only of my conception into this world on Signal Hill, but the ensuing months of their struggles, their decisions of life and of … a life. That life is mine.

Much could be told of that story and that time from his perspective, yet it is the likely, though fictional, story of the fifteen year old girl, of whom I call mom, that I would like to tell.

How she must have been scared. She must have wondered, why? Why, is this happening to me? How? How will I care for a baby, for this baby? What were her nights like? Could she run? Where could she run? There was no job. And there would no longer be any school. What kind of life can I bring to this baby.

Will it be a boy? Will it be a girl? Will he, will she have light hair, or dark? Will this baby love me? Or want to be far, far from me? Will this baby be a joy? I don’t want to regret this baby. Oh God, I feel like I’m lost. I don’t know what to think. This life, this life that grows within me. I don’t know how … I … don’t … know how. How can I … how will I … ever ... care ... for this baby?

Were these her thoughts? Thoughts, which I can only imagine have flowed through thousands, no … through millions upon millions of lives before.

And though … I don’t know her exact thoughts, or those fears that must have been hers during those months in 1958. I do know EXACTLY my thoughts here in January, some sixty-three years later. Mom, I’m so very glad that YOU CHOSE ME! Life, is far from perfect. But, because you touched my life … I have likewise been able to touch countless others. And I promise this to you … Because of you, because ... of ... you ... I will continue to do so until the very end … the very end of my days.

I love you mom, Your son, Ricky

This pic ... because she loved laughter

This story was inspired by that story of Kourtney Rae Chapman. Thank you Kourtney, thank you for being vulnerable to tell your story. And likewise to sing it through a most beautiful song, “Me or You”. I know that Jack … when he is sixty-three ... will look back … look back ... and say, “Thanks mom, that it was you”!

Tears of Honor

Yesterday I had the privilege to join with family and friends as we celebrated the life of Bill. The songs that were sung ~~~ the stories that were told ~~~ the honest message of brokenness, yet of hope ~~~ these all provided the atmosphere and the opportunity to rejoice and remember Bill’s life.

Yet, it was the very first part in the Memorial Service of ‘Billie Ralph Higdon’ which brought some moisture to these eyes of mine.

As a fellow Veteran of our United States Air Force, as well as a thirty-two year veteran in the Fire Service, I have frequently experienced the dedication and professionalism of our Military Honor Guard. Yesterday was no exception. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever been so emotionally effected. Perhaps some of it has to do with the events of our recent week. Yes, that has something to do with my emotion. Perhaps it has to do with myself now being an ‘old man’ --- Yes, I'm old :) and effected emotionally in a much greater way. Yet, I believe more than these ~~~ it has to do with ‘Honor’. Honor, to have likewise served this great country of ours --- the United States of America! Honor in realizing that both Billie, myself and thousands upon thousands of men & women have served these United States in order to continue to provide the most precious aspect we so enjoy ~~~ that is ‘freedom’.

Thank you to the two young Airmen who were very professional in their presentation of the colors. Thank you for the beautiful and clear playing of ‘Taps’, only but a few feet behind my ears. Might you likewise continue to serve with great honor. And thank you Billie for having served!

Respectfully,

Rick Williams, Sgt USAF