What Did He Think?

Photo mom sent to dad while he was in Greenland

Though my dad died seven years ago this past Fall, and though we never had conversations regarding my early years, still I am fortunate (I guess) to know what he was thinking the day ‘I was born’. How is that? Well the following gives some description of that time.

Earliest photo of just dad and I

In caring for my dad’s estate in Chapala, Mexico during that fall of 2010, my brother Ike and I came across many keep sake items within his house and on his computers. One such item found was a short story, though not complete, that Richard R. had written. He called it, “There Is No Escape! – A True, But Short Story”. In it he writes about the months following graduation from High School, how he met Elizabeth Ann and Cissy. Though much could be said of that story, what I’d like to mention here was his response upon the birth of his son, yours truly.

Just the three of us...

Dad, in the Air Force, was in electronics tech school in Biloxi, Mississippi just a year and four months out of high school when he writes, “On October 8, 1958, a messenger arrived at the drill field where we trained to inform me that my son had arrived.  If ever I had doubts about our marriage, which I had plenty, they all disappeared when I saw my son, little Ricky.  I pledged to myself at that moment that I would make this marriage work and help develop a happy family.  That was a significant period of maturing, accepting the responsibilities that I had unsuccessfully attempted to escape.”

What else was he thinking beyond these words? I’ll never know for this is where the story ended. Did he get to this part as he was writing in 2004 and just couldn’t bring himself to complete the story?

Five of Us...Going to Church?

I’ve often wondered what those early years were like. Two sisters would be added to the family in 61’ and 63’. What were our family dynamics like in those days? How significant was that pledge in those early days? How connected were our parents with one another and together with the three of us? That is, how did we play together, eat, read or sing together? These, I’ll never know.

My Favorite of mom with all 4 of us...

And though a baby brother would arrive in 65’ he would not be part of the family as a whole. Reason…late in 1964 dad had determined that it was the time of “his escape”.

…Why do I even write these words today? I guess that I was thinking, as I often do, about my past. Thinking about what dad thought of me when I was five, or fifteen or even fifty. Did he think of me often? If so, what did he think? Whatever it was, why did he seldom communicate it? 

Ray X, Kenneth E, Richard R and Richard A...

So on what would have been his seventy-ninth birthday, my encouragement is…be involved in others lives. Let them know what you’re thinking and how you feel about them. Don’t give them reason to question … “What was he thinking”?

Broken...we are such a broken people. I speak of the world entirely. I wish that I could say otherwise of my own life, so such is not the case. And though I choose to not reflect often upon all the elements which have added to this brokenness, there are days when that is just not possible. Even then, in those days, I am able to reflect upon a Savior, Jesus, who came to the broken, with grace and without accusation, to call us to a place of peace. See John 4 and 8 for His response to the broken. We KNOW what He thought, and He said it with such gentleness. Might we go and do likewise.