Firefighters can have the most bizarre sense of humor and
conversation...Our nonchalant talk of body fluids, amputations, ‘cool
accidents’, shocking people, “blood was everywhere”, “you should of seen the
great heart attack patient we had last night”…Sometimes these conversations become
our dinner table talk, which to most is even more bizarre. Psychologist would
likely say that this is healthy talk…a way to process what we’ve seen, what
we’ve experienced and had to do. Though as firefighters we have not encountered
anywhere near the frequency that our Troops are exposed to, none-the-less it is often very draining.
I’ve always been grateful to the Lord for what I call ‘no
faces’. That is I’m able to walk away from a scene and not remember a face. For
me if I can’t remember a face it’s hard to associate a person. Which is not to
say that I don’t respect that person, their family or any bystanders, I/we
definitely do. It has just been a means to handle the things that we are often
exposed to.
What I remember more than faces is the anguish that family members experience on those scenes where their loved one has died. There were times
where I so wanted to be able to stop the moment…to stop the scene…to reach out
and give an encouraging hug. But we couldn’t. Instead…we would continue to attempt to give
this loved one just more day. And at times it just wasn't going to happen.
That’s what I will
remember. How I wish I could have stopped the moment and given them a caring…
‘I’m sorry!’
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